My fingers are BURNING right now as I type. Just got done practicing guitar for about 45 minutes and I think to myself…. UGH…. why did I have to pick one of the most painful instruments to learn?? These strings hurt!!! Pushing buttons on piano doesn’t hurt like this… I can push buttons all day long…. But This… THIS…. THIIIIIIIIIS…..
I have wanted to play the guitar since I can remember. I always get a good start on it and then I skip ahead to do something I really want to learn how to do and get frustrated. I’m like…. y’know… being awesome at the piano is good enough. Right?
Well…. maybe it is. There are plenty of people that have always kicked themselves for not learning ONE instrument let alone four. I’m already proficient in 3 instruments. I played flute in high school band, trombone well into college and piano all my natural-born life. I don’t feel complete without knowing how to play guitar. And I will not give up on it. There’s a stubborn piece inside me that whispers to me every night, “you’re nothing without knowing how to play guitar”…. I’ve got to shut that voice up. Getting pretty tired of hearing it.
One day at a time. I’ve got a little calendar that I put stickers on for each of the habits and goals I’m trying to accomplish: A large colored smiley face for working out, a small silver star for eating healthily, and a little music note for practicing guitar. I know the sticker method is a little juvenile for most people but for some reason stickers resonate with me. I like to collect them. And when I see how colorful and stickered up my calendar is, I get encouraged like no other. I don’t need to show other people what I’ve done or accomplished. I really just like stepping back and being like…. dang. Look at all them stickers I got! HAHA!
There’s so many more stickers I need to represent all the areas I need to improve on in life. I need a Bible sticker for reading my Bible and spending time with God. I need a book sticker to indicate that I’ve read each day. I need a money sticker to say that I’ve stuck to my budget for the day. I need a pencil sticker to say that I’ve posted in my blog. And oh my goodness I could go on and on. I don’t know if I’ll be able to accomplish my goals without stickering every step of the way.
I’ve found that the only reason my students really push to complete their songs each week is to earn the awesome sticker they saw on the sheet before another student takes it and uses it. “Save that sticker for me, Miss Kristen! PLEASE!” they all say. And I’m sitting there like…. it’s just a sticker…
But it’s not JUST a sticker. It’s a representation of completion. Hard work. Perseverance. Dedication. Blood. Sweat. Maybe even tears. ACCOMPLISHMENT. All in a tiny, colored, often cheesy cartoon adhesive cut out.
It’s exciting, fascinating and addicting earning my stickers in life, however one day, I’m going to have to be responsible for completing goals and steps whether I have the perfect sticker to describe the task or not. I can’t spend ten minutes each day peeling off every single sticker I earned for each thing I was supposed to do. There comes a time where I’m going to have to turn away from that “what’s in it for me right now if I do this?…” and switch to “where will I be 5 years from now if I continue doing this?….”
It’s perfectly fine to concentrate on one step at a time. I’m pretty good at each and every single detail leading up to the big dream…. but sometimes, those steps lead into a misty cloud of nothingness. One step becomes closer to a place I simply can’t see right now. Then I get scared. What if all these steps are just a staircase to a cliff I can fall off from. Then what would’ve been the purpose of me climbing each step so diligently?
I need to work on seeing what is at the top of this loooooong flight of stairs. Keep the big picture in mind. That way, I’m excited about every step I take, and not skeptical.
I mean hey….Maybe…. It is a cliff… and when I jump off I get to dive into a big pile of stickers….
That’d be cool right?
Confessions of a Vicenarian 